Not About Running: Things I Learned At The Gym

Written by a gym class antihero 

This past week I've been on the afternoon shift. Theoretically that means 2pm to 11pm, and I cover any news that breaks late, but in practice that stretches...just...a...little...bit...longer...at...both...ends. (There is no such thing as an off-duty journalist.)

What that really means is that I wake up around 8 or 9, and because I'm a chicken, I don't want to be roasted on a late-morning run. So to save my sanity and my skin, I tried out a Fitness First 5-day trial pass I got from the Green Corridor Run earlier this year. There's a Fitness First gym basically around the corner from where I live, so this was great. The goal was to try as many classes as I could, while also sticking to my sprint-tri training plan, and chat with a trainer.

Here's how it went.

I had a longish chat with a sales person, who handed me a couple of brochures. This was one...

Not encouraging... the whole purpose of working out (for me, anyway) is for my mental health and to be able to race faster and stronger.

Small digression: here's something else I got in a recent race pack: Shape magazine.

Check out the coverlines: there's one woman losing 30kg, 'the #1 secret of skinny women', and (because this is the Valentine's Day issue) '15 tantalising recipes he'd love' (so you can't cook sirloin, lamb chops or chocolate pudding for YOURSELF, just for YOUR MAN - hello, Cosmopolitan?...I will cook these things for myself anyway - they look delicious). Mixed messages much?

note also that the 'recommended' weights are 1.5-litre bottles. YEP 1.5kg.
i get a better workout carrying my bag to the mrt station.

looks like she does work out regularly, but that is still a WEE TEENY kettlebell.
story says '4-6 kg'.

Also, you can totally tell which photo shoots were done locally and which were done in the US. The models in the local ones have no discernible muscle definition. Now, I'm in media, and this could just be a limitation of the local industry (small). There are no fitness models here to speak of, I think, and finding models with the right experience is probably very difficult. It's still funny/ sad though. (I know, the world has room for a whole diverse range of body types, but poor underfunded Shape magazine looks as though it's been using the one same model this whole time.)

Trying to sell me exercise because it'll change my size or shape just doesn't work for me. I work out because I want to be stronger and faster and better at the sports I love to do; because I want to be more flexible and graceful for dance; and because it's fun and a source of stress relief. The size I am or want to be has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with it.

Back to the gym, or I'll get too annoyed to keep going.
Day 1 - Zumba class. Nothing new here - just a bit of dancey fun. Not the greatest class - I had more rhythm than the instructor. For better classes, try Gonzaga at Fiesta de Fitness!

Day 2 - Hot yoga followed by 4 x 800 on the treadmill. I quite liked the yoga class. Apparently it wasn't very hot - I just...sweat a lot...and lose a lot of salt. I could do COLD yoga and I'd still be a puddle. By the end of class my toes were cramping. Then I drank an entire waterbottle of Nuun and punched out a bunch of 800s on the treadmill in 4:06 apiece.

Day 3 - The branch I was at had a rooftop pool, so I went up there to do this: 200 warmup, some drills, 3x200, 4x50, cooldown. Skipped the drills. The pool was pleasantly chilly (plus) - I hate it when the pool is like hot soup before you've even started swimming. Also deserted (plus). Also rather short (minus, doubleminus because silly me bumped my head on the end of the pool after a too-fast sprint). After living in the US for 5 years and swimming all winter in a chlorinated, echoey hall-pool (as opposed to pool hall, duh...) I will NEVER take a 50m outdoor pool for granted again. We're incredibly lucky in Singapore to have full-size public pools you can get into for a dollar!

I also had a chat with a personal trainer. I explained that I want to get stronger for long-distance running and triathlon, and he was like 'you'll have to talk to one of our trainers who does specialise in functional strength training'. Oh well.

Day 4 - Spin class with a hilarious instructor, Sherlin (BIG PLUS) but I do like the feeling of riding outside and the wind in my hair (only a small minus, I ride at home on the bike trainer too). Then I did a core workout on my own in an awkward corner by the window of the 'functional training' section, between one machine and another. My flat is quite small so having space to lie down and stretch is nice. Lying down and stretching with other people watching you is just awkward.

Day 5 - I got off work at 11.30pm and had to wake up at 5.30am for a 6.30am event on a boat (didn't I say there is no such thing as an off-duty journalist?) and felt jetlagged all day so I skipped the BodyPump class I was planning on trying. Whoops.

Conclusion: The classes are fun, but I don't like working out on my own in confined spaces (AKA 'indoors'.) I'm quite happy to take classes - I just wish they didn't have to be tied to having a gym membership!
It could work for you - I have friends who are gym bunnies and go to all the classes by a specific instructor, or who are religious about their personal training - but it's just not for me. (I'm too lazy.)
Another thing - I think it's a riot that franchises like Zumba and Les Mills have managed to trademark exercise. It's like a little cult (but in a slightly healthier way)!

Are you a gym-goer? Favourite class? Should I try this again? 

Race report: Venus Run

Yikes, I've been away far too long - sorry!
Somewhere in between, I was in Qatar on a work trip - had a morning to myself and so I visited the Museum of Islamic Art in Doha. Here it is - isn't it spectacular?

I also brought home a box of dried, sweet dates and made sticky date pudding with caramel sauce (but reduce the sugar sliiiightly) - that was my Saturday morning.

I also brought home a cold. !@&)(*!$ I felt just fine when I got back and even went to training on Thursday night. But on Friday morning I woke up with a sore throat and a sniffle. Friday and Saturday involved a tug of war with my stubborn cold, lots of fluids, and rest.

Today I woke up feeling just fine and ran (not raced) the Venus Run, a 5km road race put on by the Singapore Athletic Association. Because I was just getting over the cold I was very cautious and fighting my competitive catch-up-and-pass-the-person-in-front-of-me instincts the whole way.

Aside from all the sparkly pink*, it was actually very well-organised.
(*It's just a colour. Why do colours have to be gendered? They don't, actually. Slate tells it like it is.)

Funny aside: I sold my cerise Venus Run shirt to a coworker, who asked, aren't you going to wear it on race day?
I never wear (eat/ drink/ you name it) anything new on race day, I told her. What if something I haven't tried before itches? Or is uncomfortable? I'd have a pretty miserable race day. I don't know why most runners here don't realise that.
I think they assume you have to wear it, she said.

Running columnist Rachel Toor has a pretty funny account of running the Singapore Marathon.

"On race day the streets of Singapore looked like the Dean Dome during a UNC-Duke game, with nearly everyone wearing a brand new sky blue singlet. When I expressed surprise about this to an expat friend she told me that Singaporeans are accustomed to wearing uniforms. If you give them a shirt, they think they are supposed to wear it. Singaporeans try to do what they think is expected."

(Oh.)

The race started and ended at Marina Barrage. Yep, on the vast green roof, which people normally use for picnics and kite-flying. Meaning: you had to run down the slope at the start, and then UP THE SAME EVIL SLOPE on the other side at the end. When I got to the upslope I started laughing: on Thursday my coach Trudy had us do high-speed zigzags up the grassy slope at the Botanic Gardens. Eight times. I was not expecting to have trained for PRECISELY THIS SITUATION...!!!

The route was a pretty straightforward out-and-back, across the dam, through Marina Bay East, a lollipop u-turn and back again. According to Holly it was at least 0.2 miles/ 321.9m too long, tacking on a good minute and a half for me, and I finished in 29:21.

My coach is right - I DO cross my arms way too far across my body. Photo courtesy of RacePix.com.

At my weird in-between pace I often find myself running alone, which usually means more space for me...until there isn't. On the way back, the mid-pack came thundering along towards me in the opposite direction and spilled over wayyyy across the invisible centre line. I'll just squidge over to the left now...

Late in the game I did a flying split in front of a race photographer, and he cracked up.

Because of my cold I didn't get a chance to push myself till I (almost) blow up, till it really hurts. As Amby Burfoot writes about marathoning, "I don’t hit the Wall, because I don’t tempt it. I’m the Cowardly Lion of marathoners, and that’s okay with me." I am also completely chicken. No offense to chickens.

Right at the end I spotted Holly cheering everyone on, all by her lonesome, with a steady stream of 'You can do it little steps little steps you're right around the corner you can't see it but I can just one more minute you can do anything for one minute'. So I joined her. A little while later she was ambushed by a fellow American tracking down a familiar accent!

This afternoon I had some very good coffee with friends, ate too much, and ate too much again. In all, pretty good for a lazy Sunday... and how was your weekend? 

In which I am a curmudgeon

Also known as, the one in which some marketers ought to be taken out back and shot. (In a manner of speaking.)

I made the mistake of signing up for the Venus Run. (I wanted a timed 5K and other people to chase. Don't judge.) Now, there are all-women's runs and there are all-women's runs. The Great Eastern Women's 10K is a stellar example of an excellent one.

I have, depending on how you look at it, very high or very low standards for a race.
- Is the distance correct?
- Was the course smooth?
- Did the race start on time?

But a race organised specifically for women? That's a nice thought. In Singapore, and in Asia in general, you don't find a lot of serious women runners. That's due to all kinds of things: historically, general poverty and agricultural societies meant nobody ran for leisure (what a concept! to be running while you could be working); it's very hot; it's not culturally acceptable (dainty? ladylike?) for a woman to be wearing very little in public and sweating copiously, etc. That's shifting these days, but we don't have the same level of enthusiasm about women in sports that the post-Title IX US does. So yes, I appreciate the effort to get women moving.

The Great Eastern Run does this very well, and its message is very clear: women, you need to be fit for the health of your heart. (Great Eastern is a very large insurance company, and they have a big financial incentive to do this!)

But then there's the Venus Run. And I present to you THIS GODAWFUL SHIRT:

It's going to have THAT PROBLEM isn't it. The one in which it's too short for my hilariously long torso. 

Aesthetics aside, there's so much wrong with the things on this shirt.
I am not sparkly. I am not bioluminescent. I AM NOT A SQUID.

Squid, btw, are amazing.

 I do not want to be exhorted to sparkle. If I want to sparkle, I will wear nail polish, gosh-darn it. (I enjoy sparkly nail polish.)

The bigger problem is this: Don't define me in relation to all these other people. Sure, I'm a daughter, (ex)girlfriend, sister, wife, granddaughter and proud of it. Sure, I love my family - but I'm me first, capisce? I'm also a runner, a writer, a journalist, a...so many other things that you can't stick a convenient label on.

That and, let's see you put all these things on a men's version of this shirt. (What? Unimaginable? EXACTLY.)

I am not trying to discourage women's participation in sports and outdoor activities. In fact I will be your biggest cheerleader and better yet, run with you. And I very much respect the people who run marathons dedicating each mile to a person they love. I just don't think we need to be defined by all of these other people in order to find our motivation to run.

Suffice it to say I will not be wearing this shirt.

It gets worse. There was one last year, the Shape Run, that featured male pacers. (Unless you are trying to break a world record, there is no need for male pacers. In fact, these days, the records people don't accept women's record times from mixed-gender races. Which is a whole nother kettle of fish.)

What do you think of all-women's runs and the Venus Run marketing? Is there a good way to sell these things to women without being demeaning or reducing us to a series of limiting labels?