Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Odds and ends, post-partum

From the department of products that need to exist, baby-industrial complex edition: 
Camelbak nursing vest to alleviate nursing-induced thirst. Has room for boobs, comes with changing pad, pockets for diapers and burp cloths. Put this on and you're never more than a bite valve away from your water.
Strap-on burp cloths for all-day wear, much like a sweatband.
Ice-cooled baby carrier for summer adventures, like those compression sleeves with the pockets for ice packs. Prevents heat rash and miserable sweaty babies.

The truth about postpartum running:
- I'm about two minutes a mile slower than my normal pace...gahhh! My goal for group runs is simply to keep up. And there is, invariably, some sort of leakage. It's a good thing I now have a remarkably decreased squeamishness about any and all bodily excretions and functions. (I pushed a baby out of where?) Hang on, you say. Runners are already less squeamish about bodily excretions than your average normal person.
Exactly. So this is a step up (/down).
- Time for strength work? What time for strength work? HAHAHA. I'll take sleep for $200, Alex.

The theory of why 35-39 and 40-44 AG women are so terrifying: 
Fit and Feminist mentions in passing on Facebook her theory of AG competitiveness: the 35-39 women are all like 'I pushed a baby out of my vagina and then went without sleep for two years! A 70.3? Psh that's nothing.'
The other segment of 35-39/ 40-44 women, the ones who don't have children - they're probably also relatively settled in their jobs and have their love lives figured out and thus have way, way more focus in training.
And that's why those are the scariest age groups in non-professional racing. Truth.
I want to be one of those ladies when I grow up.

From the department of butchered song lyrics, or what to sing to an infant when you don't remember any children's songs:
a) To the tune of 'Everything is Awesome' (LEGO Movie)
Everything is messy
Everything is messy when you have a baby

b) To the tune of 'Part Of Your World' (The Little Mermaid)
I've got diapers and onesies aplenty
Jammies and mittens galore
You want burp cloths? I've got twenty!
Oh but wait, you spit up, I want more...

Edit: And one more thing I forgot to ask:
Please, please give me your recommendations for completely bombproof sports bras, kplsthx. As a former member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee I find myself in unfamiliar territory. But greater support is now necessary. What do you suggest?