Sunday, July 13, 2014

Wrap-tastic

This week I was utterly sidelined by a combination of work, a nasty cold, and early morning rain, and so what was supposed to be a rest and recovery week after the marathon turned into a no-good, very-hectic, very-stressful, no-running-at-all week.

Today I finally had the day off and was absolutely desperate for a run. (It's true, running keeps me sane and the whole getting to train for a marathon thing is a bonus. I could just as easily swim or bike or go to the gym for classes, but...too much logistics.) So off I went.

Now, I think of myself as being pretty up to date on workout gear. Sometimes to the point of absurdity. I don't *really* need two separate triathlon tops because let's face it, I do one tri a year. Or four pairs of the exact same shorts. Or the race number belt. Or more arm and waist pockets than a human being can use at any one time. Or the arm sleeves...well, okay, I needed the arm sleeves in Australia.

But clingwrap?

Apparently I have missed some sort of memo, because out there the path, there were two women brisk-walking together, and one of them was wearing what appeared to be plastic clingwrap wound around her upper arms down to the elbow.

A few possible reasons scrambled through my head.
- Clingwrap as makeshift stability brace - maybe.
- Clingwrap as sunshade - unlikely; the clingwrap was colourless so it wasn't really protecting her little skin cells from the sun
- Clingwrap as spot-reduction tool - yes but WHO THE HELL tries to spot-reduce their elbows?
- Clingwrap to keep one's elbows fresh and fancy - the stuff is airtight; this is a pretty good bet.
- Clingwrap as insulation - I mean, when I lived in New Hampshire we used to insulate our windows against the freezing winter with plastic film, and come summer the whole window frame would be mysteriously full of dead flies... So uh anyway maybe she was just cold. (30C temperature notwithstanding.)

GUYS APPARENTLY THIS IS A THING. Apparently cutting off airflow to portions of yourself...that maybe don't have as many sweat glands as other parts of you... is a thing. Video is pinched from Youtube. (I watched, dumbfounded, as she basically wrapped herself in a clingwrap onesie, and am still shuddering at the thought of clingwrap onesie PLUS being slathered in cream.)




And thus I present to you my honest and unbiased review of clingwrap.

Last week we made a bit too much polenta so I fried it up in chunks (and even then there was still a bit too much). Turns out there are approximately 1057 containers in the household and 1056 lids, and the box I had already dumped the polenta into (try frying it, it's tasty) was the sole lidless one. In a bid to save my leftovers, I slapped on a bit of clingwrap, and lo and behold the things remained crispy till the next evening when we gobbled them all up.

I know, it's a bit anticlimactic.

FTC disclaimer... I was not provided a sample of plastic clingwrap for review and will not be able to give one away; however, you may go to your nearest supermarket or dollar store to find affordable clingwrap...for whatever purpose, you filthy-minded whippersnappers. Please tag yourself on social media showing off your best athletic use of clingwrap! Best photos will be featured on this page to be giggled at for all eternity. #clingwraptastic 

PS - tomorrow I have the day off AND an actual, real-life physio appointment so I can finally start figuring out what is wrong with my #%(& quads. 

7 comments:

  1. WTF?! Not only is the notion of cling-wrapping your whole body ridiculous, but it also sounds incredibly time consuming. An hour and a half to sit around in plastic wrap???

    Good luck at your physio appointment -- hope you get some answers!

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    1. Heh, thanks.
      Yeah, that's about an hour and a half more than I ever want to spend covered in plastic wrap.

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  2. No. Just no. But I do want and expect your full review soon.

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    1. Aw, doesn't my one-paragraph summary count? I even paid for the clingwrap myself!

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  3. I've seen them use clingwrap on the side of football fields to hold ice packs on injured parts of the body. And the ambulance men clingwrapped my legs when I had a burn so the air couldn't get to it and it's stay clean. These are possibly the only occasions that a human should wear clingwrap.

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    Replies
    1. Agreed! Temporary waterproof airtight dressing - yes. Entire outfit...probably not.

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  4. I burst out laughing on the train the first time I read this, and bookmarked it for commenting when I was on a computer. I just laughed through the whole thing again. Except the part about envisioning being bound in Cling-y goodness in Singapore. That just about gives me a claustrophia-induced panic attack, particularly in the humidity out here. If I want to feel smothered, I'll go to Bikram or something. Eeeps.

    On the plus side, it's a considerably cheaper fashion statement than the tanks I'm eyeing up, and if it is somehow therapeutic, it is most CERTAINLY cheaper than compression sleeves. Speaking of which...hmmm....

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